Counting down

It's not even May and I can't help but count down the days until summertime. I am not really counting them down yet, not literally. I have kept myself from doing that at least. But my big teacher's calendar is by my big steel teacher's desk and I can't help but notice that there isn't much more than a month and a bit left of school. We actually get out earlier this year because the extra week of "snow days" were never claimed. Winter was mild and the snow never came. The mildest winter in decades has only seemed to pull summer closer than ever.

Part of me feels terrible for looking forward to vacation so openly. Like it somehow makes me a bad teacher to yearn for June. I know this is nonsense, but most of my chronic guilt is nonsense. But teaching is the most exhausting job I have ever had, and according to mental health polls, one of the most mentally taxing vocations out there. As a teacher, I have already heard snarky comments from other professions about "teacher's cushy vacations." I didn't realize how much that would grate me. Yes, we don't teach during the summer, but few of us have made enough money during the year to do much with that time. Heck, most teachers have to get summer jobs, so it isn't like we are all sitting on beach in Cancun while non-educators are slaving away in the galleys of a roman warship. If we didn't get a break from teaching your kids over the summer, they may as well put all of us on heavy meds. 

That being said, I am lucky because this summer I actually do get to travel. This summer will be the first time I get more than 1 week of vacation in over 3 years. And I am psyched. I have not taken a real trip anywhere in quite a while. Over the past few years, I have watched my best friends and closest family members travel around the world and visit its most exotic locales while I have stayed home due to job instability, lack of resources, graduate school, unemployment, or just plain lack of time off. While I did have a weeklong cruise over christmas, it was barely much of an adventure. It was more of a traveling hotel. This summer, Jess and I are going to Nepal for about 4 weeks. It is a trip that we have been saving and planning for since we first heard about it two years ago. It is kind of the "last hurrah" of our twenties: a reward for our years of hard work, an attempt to take advantage of our relative freedom while we have it, and an opportunity to serve in a very different environment that we usually work in. I will give more details about the trip as the details become solidified, but for now it is enough to say that we will be spending much of June and July in a completely different context.
So the summer can't come quick enough for me. I am very "running on empty" in regards to energy at school right now. My first year, though fulfilling in many ways, has been exhausting and I am ready to pull back and regroup. But I don't want to focus on the summer too much yet or I will check out completely from what I'm doing. That's the reason that I just take each day at a time, crossing each one off the calendar as they come to me, without bothering to count the ones ahead. Once the number game starts... then I know I'm doomed.