Nonsense, Drivel, and Balderdash

A few things I have been thinking about lately: -My church here in madrid recently moved its services into a concert venue that is empty on sunday mornings. It is the well known Sala Galileo, where quite a few famous people have played (I saw kate rusby there last year). But because of this, I think we are probably the only church around that has a strawberry flavored condom machine in the bathroom - Where does the word "boil" come from? Is boiling water said to be boiling because it develops boils on the surface, or does our skin develop boils because it looks like it is boiling? - Why do we say, "I have a hunch" when we mean that we have an inclination towards a certain idea? Does a hunchback ever use that expression? - Are babies really cute? Women only think they are cute because they are hormonally predisposed to do so. If not they would chuck em. I think newborns are weird looking. Wrinkly, red, with squashed little faces. I mean, after a few months they get ...

In retrospect, I was looking at this list and noticed a few things. There is only one girl and one non white person. While I am sure that there are other actresses and ethnic actors I would like to see make it big, the reason I haven't noticed as many is probably due to the fact that they aren't as visible. Fact is, there are more serious acting roles for men than women out there. I can think of hundreds of movies where the guy does a decent acting job but the girl doesn't get a chance because her role is simply that of a pretty face with no room for development. And many of the strong roles are simply handed over to the same actresses over and over again. Which is why I can think of plenty of actresses I like, but not that many that are "breakthrough" or "underrated". Of course, this is not always true. I'm sure I could come up with some more if I thought about it more... The same goes for ethnic actors, most of whom are simply filling a stereotype ...

Every now and then I see a movie or television show and think... "Man! why don't you see *insert actor or actress' name* more often?" Because this is my blog, and most of what I write here is fairly inane anyway,Here is a list of actors and actresses that haven't gotten the recognition that they deserve yet. I would like to them with more leading roles: Sam Rockwell He has actually been around quite a bit, culminating, in my opinion in "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," where he was absolutely brilliant. He is a great actor with a comedic sensibility. It is perhaps that funny side of him that keeps him from getting more leading roles. Mary Louise Parker I first noticed her in the HBO version of Angels in America. She was so good. Then she disappeared from my radar for a while until the television show Weeds came out. Once again, I love her in Weeds. Lets hope she sticks around. Paul Bettany He has been in several blockbusters, but never quite managed to ...

I forgot two songs. One I am more or less ashamed of, and the other I am not. Oh Holy Night, by... *cough cough* NSYNC *cough* First of all, this is a nice song anyway. So before you judge, think of the song and agree with that part at least. Second of all, I am not sure how I ran across this song. I think I was downloading random a cappella songs, which I lamely have a a lot of. But that brings me to my second defense. It is an all vocal arrangement. And most of those guys can actually sing well, nasally, but well. And the arrangements aren't half bad. I rest my case. Judge me as needed. Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis, by Tom Waits Ah, Tom Waits. Your gravelly voice, your poetic lyrics, your old barroom musical style. What isn't to love? You are the beat poet of the music world, the Bukowski of the songwriting scene. Always a slant that makes me cringe or smile. And almost always a look at the grungy side of society. This song is just like that. The title is fairl...

Due to my new job, I have been spending a lot of time in public places writing. I can't do my translation/editing stuff at home very well because of a little thing they call the internet. It is way too distracting for me. I start working and then look up a word or verify a fact online and end up going from wikipedia entry to wikipedia entry with a couple stops at BBC news and a detour through a blog or two and never get anything done. So I leave my house and head over to the nearest Starbucks. I don't particularly like Starbucks. I used to hate it, but have come to begrudgingly accept it out of necessity. Madrid is sorely lacking in coffee shop type places. It needs some variety. A couple snooty tea rooms. A few dreadlocked coffee houses. Mix it up. However, recently my tenuous acceptance Starbucks has begun to wane. The problem is that it is the Christmas season, and Starbucks really likes Christmas. They have their seasonal blends, their special drinks and cookies, limited ...

A friend's blog brought to mind the issue of being deceived by your family. Not deceived in the sense of cheated out of the will, or not told that you are adopted, or any really negative thing like that. I mean deceived as in used as a child for personal entertainment. Being pranked or lied to by adults for their own amusement. My friend recounted one such tale, and it brought a couple of my own experiences as a child to mind. My dad used to mess with our mind from time to time when we were small. One time, when we were visiting America, we were driving up to the mall, but it looked like we were driving up to ToysRus. We didn't have massive toy stores like that in Spain when I was a child, in fact, we barely had malls until I was in high school, when they suddenly started popping up all over the place. So malls were quite a novelty when we came to america. Even more so were the superstores. Massive shops dedicated to one thing. Barns and Noble, Borders and BooksaMillion were a...

December is here. The air is cold and crisp. Chestnut vendors have appeared on street corners, with their steel barrels filled with hot coals, roasting the nuts and filling the air with a delicious aroma. And all over the city lights are starting to appear over the streets, in shop windows, even hanging awkwardly from some balconies. It would all be fantastic if it wasn't a herald for the christmas season. Yes. Christmas is coming, and I'm not very happy about it. I know, I know... "Ryan, you're a grinch." Well, maybe I am. Sue me. Nothing like a lawsuit to celebrate the season. I don't know when my "grinchness" started. When I was a child I loved christmas. I loved the lights, the repetitive songs, the presents, the family, the food. I loved decorating the tree and picking out presents. But sometime during my teen years it changed. I am not sure when. Perhaps it was the year my cousins moved away and suddenly christmas was a family-less affair. That...

I quit my teaching job a week ago. When I decided to stay in spain for another year, I did it with the idea that I would be teaching english part time, as a means to pay off my living expenses whilst I worked on my music. But over the past couple of months I have started to have throat problems. Slowly I have begun to lose my voice a bit. The doctor isn't quite sure what the deal is, though we both suspect acid reflux is burning away at my throat. Regardless of what it may be, teaching english wasn't helping. I spent quite a few hours a day talking, projecting my voice loudly, and it was becoming quite uncomfortable, bordering on painful. At the end of a day of teaching, I would get home disheartened and tired. I became quite despondent at the prospect that what was meant to be a means to an end was actually getting in the way of my goal. The job I depended on to live was preventing me from following my reason for living. But I was stuck. You can't just quit your job to pur...

Winter is almost here. You can never tell for sure at this time of the year. One day it is warm, the next it is cold. But for the past couple of weeks, the Fall has been wrestling, and losing, to Winter. The mornings start out very cold, and slowly the day starts to warm a bit as the sun comes out. But the Cold stands patiently in the shadows, hidden from the sun's warmth, waiting for you to walk into the shade of a building or tree to show you how cold the air really is and remind you to bring a scarf. Today was especially chilly. Even our apartment made me wrap up a little tighter. It also made me close some of the windows that we had wide open. Our whole building is heated with a giant coal furnace in the basement that tends to turn our humble abode into a living inferno. We balance this out by opening windows. It is a terrible waste of energy, but we have no control over the heating. I read that madrid still has over 2000 buildings running their heating off coal. It is terribly...

Some people are Assholes .

Sometimes you just have to pay respect where it is due. I have some pretty damn clever friends out there. Some of them have blogs. Miriam's blog always brings a wry smile to my face. Ed's is worth its weight it chuckles. Afshaan is a warm descriptive writer. Sradda's accounts of Nepal keep me going back. Daniel's blog engages the ear and the eye. Some of the blogs are give themselves to quoting better than others, but still. A few of these blogs have been linked-to on the right for a long time, others are elsewhere on the web (it is up to them if they wish to share their writings). So without further delay, here are some quotes from some of the blogs I frequent: ...The bad part about burns is that they keep hurting more and more. Other injuries, the initial pain tends to be worst and then it lessens. With burns you really have nothing to look forward to. It's like going to a really awful class on sanitation that will end in a career as a garbage man. Miriam Moser ...

So the stage was set. My friend, and flatmate, Dan thought that a Goth night sounded like fun. Then the word got out and a couple other's decided to join in. My first step was to prepare my Goth outfit. These vary more than you would think. You have the ones that are dressed like Victorian vampires, those that look like something from a Cure concert, and the cyber-Goths with their matrix-meets-a-rave look... and there are many more. But they all have some things in common: mostly, black, hair gel, and makeup. Now, I had quite a bit of black, but it was mostly of the formal variety: dress shirts, jackets and slacks. So I decided to go for the more "I just came from a funeral and I wasn't exactly a guest" look. Of course, I didn't have any makeup so I walked down the street to the nearest makeup store (there has got to be another name for those places) and checked it out. Now, the first thing I noticed is that I don't know the vaguest thing about makeup. Brands,...

And yet another reason why I love the king of spain . Lets face it, Hugo Chavez is probably one of the top 5 most irritating political figures of the past 25 years and sometimes I just wish someone would tell him to shut up. Here is the video

You know that one thing that sits in the back of your mind and crops up from time and says "you know, you really oughta get off your sweet sweet cheeks and do _________" ? For some people this could be "skydiving," or "see New England in the Fall" (worth it, by the way), or "learn French", or "mud wrestle a dogfish." Each person has their own dreams, some more grand than others. For me, one of my great desires was to go to a Goth Club. I don't know why, but those gloomy, dark clothed, pale faced, people have always fascinated me. They are, lets face it, a bit odd. But not that much when you think about it. Every subculture has their own philosophy whether or not their members realize it. Some are more obvious, like the Punk culture, which celebrates Anarchy and Rebellion. Or the Rastafarian movement, which actually has a religious side to it, mostly focused on Peace and Freedom. The Rap culture, which celebrates Power. The Indie roc...

Lately, I have been feeling much as Rat does in the 9th chapter of the Wind in the Willows. I'll explain. In that beautiful chapter of the book, Rat "was restless, and he did not exactly know why." Summer was over, fall was starting to show itself and the hints of winter that come with it. The banks of the river were thinning, the sounds of summer had fallen silent, the robin had showed up again, the large birds were "obedient to the peremptory call" to head south. The swallows tell him about their "stirring within ... a sweet unrest" and Rat realizes that he too is falling under its spell. I also have found that "that chord hitherto dormant and unsuspected" has been ringing in my head for months now. When I decided to stay in Madrid for another year I didn't count on two things: my trip back to boston, and a sore throat. I have recently, for the past month, since I started teaching, had a sore throat. It has put all my musical aspiratio...

There are movies and then there are movies. I just re-saw Master and Commander. I have to say my hat is off to Peter Weir. I remember liking this movie when I saw it back in the day and being surprised that it wasn't more popular. Now I have re-watched, and my opinion remains the same. 10 oscar nominations, all technical and artistic. This is the classiest action movie I have seen in years. No sentimentalism, no over-dramatism, no unnecessary gore, no gratuitous sexuality. A great cast, a great production. It is rare that you can refer to a movie, especially an action movie, as "classy" but this one is definitely one of the few. If you are expecting a typical "the patriot" or "pirates of the Caribbean" kind of action movie you will be disappointed, this one paces itself and takes its time, but it is worth it. I just thought you should know.

You know you are a single twentysomething guy if: - you have 8 guys over at your house one night for beer, pizza and a new videogame. You know you are a European single twentysomething guy if: - the aforementioned videogame is the newest soccer game release with updated teams. You know you are me if: - You serve the potato chips in a dog bowl - You actually bought the dog bowl for the purpose of serving chips You know you are living in Spain when: - one of the guys brings a tin of squid in tomato sauce as an appetizer - it is served cold right out of the can into a bowl - a pile of toothpicks is set up next to it - the guys, upon seeing the cold bowl of squid, do not pull away in disgust, but grab toothpicks and start chowing down.

As I was in my bed last night, I started making up a list of the books that I've enjoyed the most during my life. Now, this list started far back with the first books I could remember liking, through elementary school and on into the present. These aren't the greatest books, or the best books I've ever read, but they are the ones that I have enjoyed the most at the time that I read them. Looking back, some of them were better than others, but who really cares when you are enjoying a good story, eh? Anyway, in more or less chronological order, here they are: The books I've Enjoyed the most (age 3-5) Busy Busy Town by Richard Scarry The Red Hot Water Bottle Curious George by Hans Augusto Rey Harold and the Purple Crayon by Johnson. (age 6-8) The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett EB White's books (The trumpet of the swan, Charlotte's Web, etc) The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame Tiki Tiki Tembo by Arlene Mosel The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash by...

I've heard that there is nothing worse than having someone else recount some dream they had. But I dont care. This is MY blog, and as they say on the streets, I do what I want. Plus, I have been having really weird dreams lately. Dream 1) I was living in some sort of nazi state. An oppressive regime with curfews and all that jazz. I spent all night dodging the secret police, trying to find a way to escape... At the same time, there was a definite Asian motif to the setting. Like, thailand or something, but with mediterranean beach fronts. Greek maybe. That in itself is an exciting dream, but it becomes ridiculous towards the end. We were trying to organize a mass escape and we decided to use an... evangelical wedding ceremony as a cover up. The church itself wasnt any church I have been in I think. In fact, I think it was Rev. Lovejoy's church from the simpsons. The wedding ended with the nazis banging on the church door and kenny and I (who were on stage leading some sort of s...

With my friend Kenny's impending wedding, I realized how many of my friends have gotten married. I am 24. Maybe it's just because I grew up in Spain, where people don't get married until their mid 30s, but when I look at how many of my friends are engaged, married, and have been married for several years now... I can't help but feel slightly amazed: High School : -Out of 12 people in my graduating class... (yeah, mad small): Charles Williams Nick Matthews Jenny Anderson Josh Parks (rumored) Janna Cabeen Rebecca Szabo April Swick -Other friends from high school: Daniel Dixon Eva Hund Jen Rohde Phil Biddulph ... many more College Robin Sattler Allison Quigley Andrew Frey Allison Moore Ben Moore Andy Shaw Brian Toombs Gregg Hanson Brett Johnson Aislinn Agnew Judy Garza de Vega Steve Anderson Melissa Barrow Kristel Sheesley Pete Sheesley Peter Bayreuther Jonathan Bennet Marika Bennet Julie DeJager Joe Gordon Sarah Hoover Aline Venturin (these are just the ones that I found ...

I went to the mountains yesterday. Whenever I have had enough of city living, or my employment, of my friends, and when I am feeling spiritually dry, I take off to the mountains. To me nature is an elixir of the soul. I begin walking up into the hills, watching the cities and towns grow smaller, and somehow it puts the whole thing into perspective. It makes me feel small, and I like that. As my body begins to feel the stretching and movement of its muscles, the physical stress seems to replace the psychological one. As the mountains lead me into the clouds, the fog in my brain seems to rise for some reason. Today I am sore. I am out of shape. In pretty much every way. I am unfocused in mind and resolve, scrawny in body, deflated in enthusiasm and heart... it has just been one of those couple of weeks. A day out in nature is quite good for me. I get back sunburned and tired, but somehow things seem better. When I begin to make the same dumb mistakes as I was before, I am able to see...

Wow, this has been quite a dry spell in the blogging world. No-one seems to be writing lately. I obviously havent been keeping up the blog very well either. Every-time I sit down to write something, I cant seem to think of anything to write. It is a problem. I have recently been having several reflections on religion due to the fact that I have been reading Apologia pro Vita Sua by John Henry Newman, but for some reason I dont feel like sharing them here. I have considered reopening my Skeptic's Corner blog under some new format and title; a place to write my thoughts on religion, spirituality and the like. We'll see. I'll let you know if I do. As to my life. I have been working teaching english at a company again. It isn't the greatest job in the world, but it pays the bills, which is all that matters I guess. And I dont really work that many hours a week, so that is good. I have actually managed to keep my fridays free as well as my weekends. Now I am just working on...

I am sure some of you have seen this t-shirt design before: It obviously plays off the saying "bros before hos" (meaning, put your guy friends before chicks). I really liked it at first. I thought it was clever and funny, and nerdy for an english major. However, then I noticed that Shakespeare is on it. We don't have any of his prose, if he ever even wrote any. I mean, he excelled in every form BUT prose. Shouldn't they have put the drawing of a famous novelist or something? But I dont know who would be recognizable enough... anyone?

Well, I am back "home". I was quite sad to leave Boston, but whatever, I am back and that is all there is to it. I guess we all spend our lives trying to figure out just what it is that makes us tick. As I've mentioned before, these early/mid twentiesomethings are not exactly easy. The post-collegiate lifestyle seems to be one of restless leisure, earning enough to pay the bills and hang out with friends, but not really heading anywhere. Or at least that is what I ascertained when I was on the North Shore. Most people seem to be in the same boat. And the boat isnt moving. We are all just waiting to catch a current or gust of wind to take us to our next destination. The problem is that, for most of us, until you know what the next destination is, the wind never seems to come along. And so we spend these years trying to find what we love, or at least what we can put up with. I see many people deciding whether to pursue a passion or to pursue a professional opportunity that ...

I remember when I started blogging. I think I was one of the first people I know to start blogging. Dont get me wrong, it was a cultural phenomenon back 4 years ago when I began, but none of my friends really did it. And then all of a sudden a bunch of us did. We all kept it up for a while, some came and went, but I had a pretty vibrant blogging community. Tonight I found myself checking my friends blogs and finding only abandoned websites for the most part. It kind of kills a lot of the fun of blogging for me. So I guess this post is a bit of a salute to all the blogs around me during this time: So I started thinking of all the people that had blogs I liked that stopped: -Jen -Erin Kidd (though she kept it up for a very short time) -Rebecca Wood (though it seems like she may start up again) -Kenny -Evangeline -Chris Cherene Or the ones that never really started up in the first place: -Charles And then there are the ones that I wish would write more often: -Ed Rand -Aitor -Erin Davidso...

Well, I am in Massachusetts. I had been gone for 2 whole years and being back feels... complicated. On one hand it feels great. Really great. I have come back in the most deceptive time of the year; the sun is shining, the sky is clear, the air is warm, it is hot in the sunshine, cool in the shade, flowers are everywhere, the trees are filled with lush green leaves, everyone is out and happy. If I had come in 3 months this would have been a very different experience. However, the people would still be here. Let me say, most of the friends that I have met up with have been great. It hasn't been awkward at all to meet up with all these folks that I hadn't seen in years. So far I have seen: Matt Austin, Masha, Ed Rand, Ruthie "george", Lisa Varno, Renee, James Oldfield and Price Grisham. I have also seen a bunch of "friends by association", those people who hang out with your friends, people whom you knew a bit but wouldn't consider friends per say. But at ...

I have been pretty busy hanging out since I have been back in madrid, but here are some Camp Photos if you wanna see em.

I am officially done with my teaching at camp days! I am free until tomorrow morning when I see the kids off. Yay! I have never been this happy to finish a job. Apparently I am the equivalent of The Office (US version) character Ryan. The name is appropriate. I think I will be buying some seasons of this series when I go to the US next week. Which Office Character Are You? You are Ryan. You are extremely smart and perceptive, and it irritates you to no end when inferior people try to tell you what to do. Sometimes, though, your critical eye makes you come off as aloof and bitter to others, and it may take awhile for people to get to know you. Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com I just ordered a new computer . Yay x2. It is the first time I have bought a new one since the summer before I left for college over 5 years ago. It is a refurbished macbook pro. It is the model before the current one. By buying the refurbished thing I was able to save a very pretty penny. A previous model ...

And as time ticks away (I have 6 days left of camp) I have found myself taking midnight walks again. The camp area is in a wooded area next to a river, riddled with walking paths, which I have mostly traversed to and from Burgos (the nearest city, about an hours walk from here). But lately my end-of-summer restlessness has driven me to the trails once the sun has gone down. Late night walks used to be a common part of my life. At Gordon I would walk in the woods after dark several times a week; enjoying that rich, pungent, smell of wet earth that appears as the temperatures drop below dew-point. I like the thrill of darkness. I like having to rely on other senses, and the way they come awake on their own when the visibility is low. Suddenly every crunch of the leaves, rustle in the trees, and bird chirps are heard plainly. The smells of rotting leaves, dust, mud, water, flowers... they become singular and identifiable. The change of wind and the dips and jumps in temperature become cl...

Two things are making me happy. One, the episode of Freaks and Geeks that I am watching right now (the best "high school" show since The Wonder Years). Two, I have been unconsciously making a list of things that I want to do in Boston since I found out that I was going to the US. So, why not name some of them? We will assume that "seeing friends" does not need to be mentioned since I am actually going to Boston for that very purpose. - Eat at Nicks Famous Roast Beef in North Beverly. Anyone who has eaten there knows exactly what I am talking about. I seriously dream about a Super Beef on an onion roll. With bbq sauce. - Go to singing beach It isn't really anything special. Its just a beach, though the sand squeaks when you walk on it. Apparently this happens in other places, but on the north shore I think it only happens there. But I want to go there for the memories more than anything else. - Hang out at Gordon for a while ... there are sub-categories on this...

Two more weeks. Two more weeks and I am done with my current employment at summer camp. I have already been here a month and half. Some kids have been nice or fun, but most have just been an add bit of stress to my life. But really, it isn't so much the kids as the environment. You are with the kids from dawn till dusk, literally. And dusk does not come soon in a Spanish summer. In some ways I feel that the summer has been stolen from me this year. I still have the student`s concept of summer: Long idle days, drenched in heat and sunlight and water, passed with friends by the pool, in the TV room, in parks and cafes. The warm nights spent awake, talking with friends as we swat away mosquitoes. Waking up late with nothing to do. Waking up early and sweating as the sun turns the side of the house into a brick oven. The morning rummage through empty pizza boxes to find the breakfast slice, the munch of stale popcorn on the way to the shower or pool (the are the interchangeable in the...

I just got woken up by an earthquake. Seriously. Not metaphorically. The third camp is over and the fourth camp doesnt start until monday, so I decided to come to Madrid for a couple days before the last one starts up. There is not a single person in madrid right now. It is mid august, which means that this is a ghost city, with all its inhabitants off to the coast for a while. But anyway, I was lying in my bed, asleep, when I was jolted awake by some movement and the sound of the chandelier tinkling. It was such a strange feeling that I immediately thought "earthquake" though I wasnt worried because it didnt last long and it wasnt that strong. It finished a second after I woke up. I got up and went to the balcony to see if anyone else had noticed anything. I also searched the horizon for any sign of smoke or something, because I thought that perhaps it had been an explosion (though in retrospect I would have heard something). When I was a small child there was a terrorist bo...

After much deliberation, I´ve decided what the title of this blog says. Even though I dont have a job for the fall figured out yet, I´m going to the US in september. If I dont go now I dont know when I will, and every year that I put off going makes it even less probable that my friends will still be around Boston. So many have already “upped and gone” and I’m afraid that more will so that if I wait any longer no one will be there. Also, although my dad won’t be going anywhere, I hate to have to go a whole year without seeing him. So yeah, most likely I will be on the North Shore from around the 30th of August to the 6th of September. Then I will go down south to visit my dad for a week and a bit. Then I will be back up to Boston for a couple of days and then back to the motherland.

I finished 2 out of 4 camps. Now I have started the 3rd one. You know when you are halfway done with something? There are two possible reactions: -I cant believe I am already halfway done! or -What?! Im only halfway done?? For me its the latter one. I am sick of camp, but I am also more used to how it works. It isnt so much mental work, less concentration. Anyway...

Well, last week, on my birthday ironically, I received a phone call from the company I work for in Madrid. They are the people that give me my teaching assignments and all that jazz through-out the year. I had previously gotten an email from them saying they needed to talk to me. I was curious, but not completely concerned. I began to get nervous when they told me that my student feedback reports hadn’t come been as positive as they might have hoped. I was later told, I got a 4.9 out of 6, and the minimum requirement was a 5.2. This surprised me. At first I assumed that my morning students had given me more negative scores, lowering the average. Cause, really, I am half asleep in those morning classes. But the scores were about the same across the board. In retrospect, I should have mentioned to my students how important the feedback reports were. I should have differentiated between the reports I made of them and the ones they made of me. I tended to be quite direct and harsh in doing...

I am over halfway done with my second camp. I´ve signed up for a 4th camp at the end of August. Perhaps it was a dumb move, considering how little I have been enjoying these camps. But now that my expectations are lower and I am learning how to deal with the kids, I think I can do another two weeks. I need the money for when I go to the US in september. Oh, right, I guess I forgot to mention that bit. I am going to the US for the first half of september. I will probably be in Boston at the start and at the middle, since I have a round trip ticket from Spain to there. Tell me if you will be around. I would love to do an extended trip to the land of the free and the home of the brave (I have quite a few friends in Washington as well as California), but alas, this time around I will be goign to Boston to see friends and Mississippi to see family. I had a dream last night that my friend/flatmate from oxford Will Wiersma was alive. Actually, it was more like we all knew he had been dead and...

A group of girls come running up to me during break wailing in tears about Mari Angeles, the girl who fainted on the bus. They come screaming that something has happened to her. "Un ataque" they say. Something about fainting again. Hard to make out exactly what is going on with all of them talking at once. I run upstairs with the pubescent estrogen clan as my mind races with medical possibilities... two faints in 24 hours... a concussion? secondary effects from the heat collapse? The first signs of epilepsy?.... When I arrive to the girls I find a group of chicks holding Mari Angeles to the bed, exorcism style. Her face is tearstained, and she is in a subdued state of hysteria. The thought of calling a priest does flick through my ideas. "Are you ok?" I ask her she nods and smiles a lunatic’s smile. "OK" I say hesitantly to no one in particular. "Let her go," I tell the girls, "give her some air." Mari Angeles gets up slowly, takes a de...

Well, one of the three (minimum... *sigh*) camps that I am doing this summer is done. It was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous place I have ever been in my life. I have never been in a situation that had more hysteria or melodrama than that camp. Here is a recap of some key events: - Girl faints on bus from heat stroke - Girl gets punched in the face by strange boy at the public swimming pool - Boy kicks other boy in pants and causes his penis to bleed - Boys decide that it is easier to get into the girls room via window and climbing over the school rather than the door. - Boys decide to jump David, Daniel and me at the pool only to end up with 2 injured spines. - We try to teach them capture the flag only to have to quit 20 minutes later due to one semi dislocated shoulder, 1 sprained ankle and a mild concussion. - Girl with aforementioned concussion, who was walking awkwardly, head tilted, and (I kid you not) with eyes crossed and lazy, refused to be taken to the hospital and hel...

I am at summer camp . You can tell by the bags under my eyes, the steely glint in my gaze, and the slight hint of desperation in my voice. Last year´s camp may have been fun, but this year is nothing like the glorious summer of 2006. No, my friends, this this the summer of 2007, where hell itself has spewed forth some of its most vile progeny. In this case, I am talking about teenage girls. The boys are alright, you must understand. Boys are simple. Not good, mind you, but simple. A boy hates you and he will say so. If he is angry at someone he will punch them. After a couple of good wallops, the boy will then regain his peace. And boys, oddly enough, listen more than girls do in class. They get distracted and forget what it is that they are supposed to be doing, but remind them and they do it. Also, if they don’t I can give them wedgies. Girls , however, are a different beast. I don’t use the word "beast" randomly either. Whereas an angry boy can destroy someone’s face, an ...