Would stupid people please use contraceptives
A group of girls come running up to me during break wailing in tears about Mari Angeles, the girl who fainted on the bus. They come screaming that something has happened to her. "Un ataque" they say. Something about fainting again. Hard to make out exactly what is going on with all of them talking at once. I run upstairs with the pubescent estrogen clan as my mind races with medical possibilities... two faints in 24 hours... a concussion? secondary effects from the heat collapse? The first signs of epilepsy?....
When I arrive to the girls I find a group of chicks holding Mari Angeles to the bed, exorcism style. Her face is tearstained, and she is in a subdued state of hysteria. The thought of calling a priest does flick through my ideas.
"Are you ok?" I ask her she nods and smiles a lunatic’s smile. "OK" I say hesitantly to no one in particular. "Let her go," I tell the girls, "give her some air."
Mari Angeles gets up slowly, takes a deep breath, lets out a shriek and bolts into the bathroom. At this point, I decide that this is a job for a female monitor and perhaps the head teacher. I fetch them back to the room where they attempt to get Marian to get out of the bathroom. Meanwhile, I try to get all the hysterical, weeping, screaming banshees out of our hair.
All of them are yelling at me: "let me see her!" some command me, "she had been hitting her head against the wall!!" others inform me, "Oh Marian!!!" one girl wails and collapses on the bed, not really helping the situation.
Once the horde of hysteria is ushered out of the area, I strongly encourage the boys hanging around the entrance to the girls bedrooms to also leave. Still hearing people in the boys dorm across the hall I go to investigate. There I find one boy crying and another one looking a bit amused and awkward. I tell weepyface to go to his room and focus my questions at the only person who wasn’t out of his mind.
"You." I point a finger in his face "what is going on?"
He scrunches up his face in concentration, "Mari Angeles like Alberto and alberto like martingales and they...." He trails off as he mentally scours his limited English vocabulary.
"Just tell me in Spanish" I say, trying not to roll my eyes.
He goes on to explain that the boy who was crying (alberto) liked the crazy chick (Mari Angeles), who also liked him back. However, when the boy asked her if she wanted to hook up, which is the summer camp equivalent to love, she declined. Later on that day he opted to drown his sorrow in the lips of another, causing Marian to hit her head against the wall.
That was it. It was all about some dumb boy.
I swear I am going to strangle one of these kids before the summer is out.
When I arrive to the girls I find a group of chicks holding Mari Angeles to the bed, exorcism style. Her face is tearstained, and she is in a subdued state of hysteria. The thought of calling a priest does flick through my ideas.
"Are you ok?" I ask her she nods and smiles a lunatic’s smile. "OK" I say hesitantly to no one in particular. "Let her go," I tell the girls, "give her some air."
Mari Angeles gets up slowly, takes a deep breath, lets out a shriek and bolts into the bathroom. At this point, I decide that this is a job for a female monitor and perhaps the head teacher. I fetch them back to the room where they attempt to get Marian to get out of the bathroom. Meanwhile, I try to get all the hysterical, weeping, screaming banshees out of our hair.
All of them are yelling at me: "let me see her!" some command me, "she had been hitting her head against the wall!!" others inform me, "Oh Marian!!!" one girl wails and collapses on the bed, not really helping the situation.
Once the horde of hysteria is ushered out of the area, I strongly encourage the boys hanging around the entrance to the girls bedrooms to also leave. Still hearing people in the boys dorm across the hall I go to investigate. There I find one boy crying and another one looking a bit amused and awkward. I tell weepyface to go to his room and focus my questions at the only person who wasn’t out of his mind.
"You." I point a finger in his face "what is going on?"
He scrunches up his face in concentration, "Mari Angeles like Alberto and alberto like martingales and they...." He trails off as he mentally scours his limited English vocabulary.
"Just tell me in Spanish" I say, trying not to roll my eyes.
He goes on to explain that the boy who was crying (alberto) liked the crazy chick (Mari Angeles), who also liked him back. However, when the boy asked her if she wanted to hook up, which is the summer camp equivalent to love, she declined. Later on that day he opted to drown his sorrow in the lips of another, causing Marian to hit her head against the wall.
That was it. It was all about some dumb boy.
I swear I am going to strangle one of these kids before the summer is out.
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