Expectation and apprehension
14 hours from now I'll be boarding a plane, leaving the possibility of a cold New England summer for the certainty of Nepal's hot monsoon season. That is the only thing that seems certain right now. All I know of my time in Nepal is that it will be hot and humid.
In less than a day I will be trading a summer of guaranteed mundanity and uncertain weather for a season of guaranteed humid heat and uncertain activities. If I were to stay in Boston for the summer, my biggest worry would be whether or not it would be warm enough to wear shorts, but warm weather seems to be the only thing that is guaranteed in Nepal. Everything else seems uncertain. I have been told that Nepal demands "flexibility," of the difficulty in making plans in a place that is in constant flux. Being a person who loves musical improvisation, I am surprised that this lack of planning has made me so apprehensive as the trip nears.
Don't get me wrong; I am looking forward to Nepal. Jess and I have been looking forward to it for for quite some time. We have a couple people in our small group at church that are so passionate about Nepal (and have been working there for years) that it would be near impossible not to develop love for that country. We've seen their photographs and videos, heard their stories, hung out with their Nepali exchange high school student, and seen the love that they have for the Nepali people. As we've grown to love our Ohana group, we've also grown to love the things they love (bacon, cheese, and... of course, Nepal), so we are excited to finally be able to experience firsthand all the stories we have been hearing for near two years now.
But how am I going to experience it? That is the question that causes my apprehension. Maybe it's because I just finished my first year of teaching, and it is a job that is made up of just as much planning as actual instruction. I have spent countless hours carefully preparing lessons and figuring out how I can be the most effective. But now I am less than a day away from traveling to Nepal, and I'm not sure exactly how to prepare myself to be effective. Especially since I will be probably be doing things that are new and probably uncomfortable. So, in that sense, my nervousness is not a bad thing. If my biggest concern about traveling to an impoverished and unstable country is whether or not I will make a difference... then I guess my heart is in the right place. Still, that place is an uncertain one. Hopeful, but uncertain.
In less than a day I will be trading a summer of guaranteed mundanity and uncertain weather for a season of guaranteed humid heat and uncertain activities. If I were to stay in Boston for the summer, my biggest worry would be whether or not it would be warm enough to wear shorts, but warm weather seems to be the only thing that is guaranteed in Nepal. Everything else seems uncertain. I have been told that Nepal demands "flexibility," of the difficulty in making plans in a place that is in constant flux. Being a person who loves musical improvisation, I am surprised that this lack of planning has made me so apprehensive as the trip nears.
Don't get me wrong; I am looking forward to Nepal. Jess and I have been looking forward to it for for quite some time. We have a couple people in our small group at church that are so passionate about Nepal (and have been working there for years) that it would be near impossible not to develop love for that country. We've seen their photographs and videos, heard their stories, hung out with their Nepali exchange high school student, and seen the love that they have for the Nepali people. As we've grown to love our Ohana group, we've also grown to love the things they love (bacon, cheese, and... of course, Nepal), so we are excited to finally be able to experience firsthand all the stories we have been hearing for near two years now.
But how am I going to experience it? That is the question that causes my apprehension. Maybe it's because I just finished my first year of teaching, and it is a job that is made up of just as much planning as actual instruction. I have spent countless hours carefully preparing lessons and figuring out how I can be the most effective. But now I am less than a day away from traveling to Nepal, and I'm not sure exactly how to prepare myself to be effective. Especially since I will be probably be doing things that are new and probably uncomfortable. So, in that sense, my nervousness is not a bad thing. If my biggest concern about traveling to an impoverished and unstable country is whether or not I will make a difference... then I guess my heart is in the right place. Still, that place is an uncertain one. Hopeful, but uncertain.
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