Post-Collegiate Doldrums

You spend about 22 years of your life following a pattern, a map, that is laid out before you. When you are a child, you get up and go to bed when told. "Brush your teeth, eat your veggies, dont scream obscenities from the balcony"... life is pretty simple. Then you enter school and things do not really get more complicated, they just get busier... "do your homework, get up, dont be late for school, dont throw sand in anyone's eyes..." High School finally begins to give us more options, with the freedom and responsibility that accompany such things. "Choose your hobbies, choose your friends, choose your -gulp- college." But really, the options are limited. There are only so many colleges to choose. Once you go to college you have other options to pick from, "choose a major, choose a dorm, roommate, part time job..." But even so, they dont call your college studies "a track" for nothing... once you are on the way it is not too complicated.
However, once you have your diploma in your hand....
You are on your own. And it is wonderfully horrible.
Don't get me wrong, the freedom is fantastic. You are your own person, liberated, nothing holding you back.... except for the freedom itself. Because, somehow, endless options equals no options, the freedom of taking any path is no path at all, paradoxically you are tied up by your lack of commitments. For a while I have been feeling like the small child who is taken to an ice-cream shop and told to pick 1 flavour out of 31 and just wanders back and forth in front of the display for hours overwhelmed by the choices.

(note to self: be sure to copyright the term "post-collegiate doldrums")

Comments

Anonymous said…
it's amazing how well you have captured my exact thoughts and feelings.
20/6/07 09:08
Jenn said…
And then, when you are faced with, "where in the world do I want to live?" it sucks even more. Sometimes I envy those people who grew up in a small town in Nebraska because they will always know where they'll live and even what they'll do. But those of us with so many options can be paralyzed.
20/6/07 13:03
Miriam said…
I so don't envy those people who grew up in a small town in Nebraska. They work at Walmart and the only kind of cappuccinos they've tasted are the sickly sweet ones that come from gas station vending machines. Also, when you're in a town of 1,000 people that no one moves away from, there are lots of soap-opera situations with exes and affairs and step-mothers and mothers all attending the same PTA meetings. Modern (im)morality really needs to go along with mobility.

I haven't gotten to the doldrums yet, but I would much rather feel immobilized by the multiple options than feel trapped by the lack thereof. Hope it all works out for you.
20/6/07 20:21
lau said…
He llegado a tu blog de sopetón,...y apesar de que entiendo un carajo ...o un poco mas lo que dice, está bueno. Suerte en el verano que yo me tendré que quedar en la nieve! laury
21/6/07 15:34
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