Magic Rugs

Today, in one of my classes, a student was trying to remember how to say "magic carpet" and ended up saying that he would like to fly on a "magic carpenter." Is it wrong that the first thing I thought of was Jesus when he said "magic carpenter"? For some reason I stared trying to figure out what that would be like and the first thing that came to mind was someone surfing on jesus.
But then I began to think about the nature of a carpet. I think most people would differentiate a rug from a carpet in that a carpet covers the whole floor (I found a definition that said "Carpet is a textile floor covering that is distinguished from the more general term "rug" by being fixed to the floor surface and extending wall to wall"). A rug generally does not cover an entire room, though it may cover a substantial part of it. So with that in mind lets consider the following "magic carpets":

Here is the world's most famous magic carpet. It became popular after the Aladdin movie came out. Fame was not easy on the ole shaggy one though. Years later, a VH1 Behind The Scenes report would unveil the sordid world of drugs, drinking and iranian brothels that the rug thrived on. A loss to floor coverings everywhere came in 2001 when the limp and frayed body of "magic carpet" was found rolled up and half buried in the middle of the desert. Its golden tassels were all gone, long sold to pay off its many debts accrued through gambling and dry cleaning. Rumors about the carpet still abound. At this point, Carpet's legacy is being fought over in court between a magic door-mat and an enchanted pillow case claiming to be his children.




This guy is clearly on a rug. A decent sized rug, thats true. But there is no way it is "carpeting" more than a good sized port-o-potty. It is a good thing that it is not trying to fill one though, because there is no way that guy would be: 1) smiling 2) playing music 3) be in the company of scantily clad women that serve him tea. Maybe that is what makes this carpet magical more than the ability to fly.




This guy's "magic carpet" isn't only a terrible excuse for a carpet, but it is a bad excuse for a rug as well. This is more of a magic bath mat, or beach towel. That wouldn't be half bad actually, because everyone knows how difficult it is to get your towel to lay down flat on the sand and then to keep the sand off of it once it is there. Imagine just making it hover one inch above the sand. If they had those in the middle east you can bet your bottom dollar that oil wouldn't be their main export.


Yes, in truth it seems that all "magic carpets" are nothing but magic rugs. What would a real magic carpet look like? Much bigger. It is probably the minivan of flying tapestries.