Personnel Review part 1

A friend recently wrote a blog entry answering the question "what have you learned during ....." She then went on to talk about how she has developed during the last year in a certain situation (ambiguous I know, but its not my story to tell). It was a great bit of self reflection and meditation and it got me thinking about my own life and my current state of affairs. What have I learned this year? How have I grown? These are those typical job application questions that everyone seems to dread or that unleash angsty, self-centered tirades, yet nevertheless I think they are good to ask from time to time. We'll do this one in chunks though...

1) love for life.

It is strange, one of the things that I have really started to pick up on is the way I really love life. I know that probably sounds strange to those of you who know me as the cynical ryan or whatever, but it is strange, I dont necessarily love the events in life or its multiple complexities, but I really get a kick out of the small things; the smell of spring, a blast of cold air, a stray ray of sunlight pushing through a cloud. I know it all sounds cheesy, but its true. These things make me the happiest. I love this world I live in. The most common prayer uttered from my lips is "thank you for life." In saying that, I dont mean my life per say, I just mean Life. The force flowing through the grass and trees, the intake of breath, the rapid heartbeat of the stray cats that live on my street, the sunlight pushing on photosynthesis, the way my muscles move beneath my own skin propelling me forward. I love all of that. To me that is the greatest miracle. My cynicism does not flow from my world view so much as my view of myself and where I fit into this glorious symphony of heartbeats and exhalations. But even my own egocentric frustrations become overwhelmed in the presence of the beauty around me. That is where I see God reflected. That is where I feel my own supernatural connection. If my mother hadn't forbidden me from becoming a hermit (she says all hermits end up being a bit "off") I would consider it. I certainly see the appeal.

Comments

Anonymous said…
i know exactly what you mean here. and as a not-so-part-time basement hermit/woodswalker, i've had plenty of time to reflect on it:-)

p.s. i'll be writing you an email soon about primavera sound and visits to spain and all...
30/3/07 05:06
Miriam said…
Thank you for correcting my ignorant assertions regarding Rock and Roll history.

I don't see that there is anything too bad about being a hermit. I would get bored myself, but to each their own.
31/3/07 17:30
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